Diet Crash~

Hey Everybunny!

Right im gonna be brutally honest right now, i have like no selfcontrol by the looks of it... I basically had no money today as the banks werent letting me know of extra things coming out, so i had no money to get any food and ended up ordering food on paypal which was a pretty stupid idea to be brutally honest... I thought it was a buy now pay later thing on paypal but turns out it wasnt.. So there's a chance that that money will come out before the end of the week (I get money on monday) which im pooping myself about as i only have £10 and the food was £18... Really shouldnt have ordered what i did and it was super super unhealthy too so my healthy eating has crashed too...

Was just looking at some photos of me from about a year ago and holy fuck my face has added so much extra weight tis disguisting. People have told me that my face looks healthier chubbier and i wanna smash their faces in the patronizing arseholes... I wasnt unhealthily thin and i never have been and it's kinda upset me into wanting to eat more bad food over motivating me to relose it... Because this weight isn't easy to lose and i have to be super super strict and i havent got much  strength when it comes to bad food...

I legit have pictures of who i look up to, 'goals' as the kids call it, of what i wish i looked like. I dont care about thigh gaps, or rubs showing, or collarbones or any of that bullcrap which IS unhealthy.. I just want my cheekbones and a flatter stomach back :/ 

Urgh i dunno i need some help i think i dunno what to do does anyone have any tips about being strong in the face of saying no to bad food? My body never feels happy after eating all the grease either makes me wanna be sick afterwards :/

*slap wrist* 

So angry with myself...

Em

XxX

*Edit* 10 minutes later i can smell the pizza from the other side of the room and its making me want to be sick...

Cindy~

08/06/2011, that's when god decided to have another little angel <3 

I miss you... Cinders...

'Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices i made
And I can't live with myself today'

~ Skillet, Lucy

It's been 4 years today, no wonder i was having trouble sleeping. You were truly my best friend, you were the reason i'm still here today. My rock. My hope. My everything. I truly miss you so much and i still find it hard to be able to accept that youre not here anymore...

I wish that i could have done it differently, i wish i could have changed the end so you werent in pain. It feels like its my fault, when i know it isnt my fault at all...

I was young and i didnt know much, but i wish you have slipped peacefully away, but im glad at least that it was quick, I never got to say goodbye to you and it hurts, i wish i could have made that last kiss and cuddle truly special to soak up all of you that i could before i had to face the world alone...

I miss you and i will always miss you it'll never truly get easier, its still a heartache for me :(

But i love you, i will always love you, not even my bunnies have been able to fill my hole in my heart that belongs to you, i had my one true pet and now youve left that'll be it for the dog part of my life. I will love other dogs and be upset and devestated if something happens to them, but you were my first and my only. I miss having you lie with me and snuggle and licking my tears away, while i held onto your fur and howled my own song.

I love you <3

Always <3

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Jewelry/Charm Reference~

Hey Everybunny!

This blog is to keep people updated about what charms and other jewelry related things i have (this will be linked to etsy listings if there are multiple charm offerings for a listing) so it will be forever changing!
I will also show the 'sold out' charms and that way people can then ask if they would like me to order in anything from my old purchases!
Also if youd like a charm/style thats not listed on this blog at all then please do let me know what you would like and ill look for something and order it in for you n.n <3

Current Charms

These charms are ones i have multiples of and dont see them running out too soon!

These charms are what you see is what there is left :)

I also have pokemon charms;

~ These can be edited to reflect the pokemon much better, they were in a multipack for like £2 i just wanted the basic plastic pokemon shape :)

5th-7th of June Diet and Fitness Plan

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Date; 05/06/2015

Goal; loose 2lbs a week
Calorie intake; 1,200 per day

Breakfast; wheat hoop bar ~ 88cal
Lunch; tomato and basil chicken ~ 402cal
            pink lady apple snack pack ~ 43cal
Dinner; fish in buttered sauce ~ 202cal
            jacket potato ~ 198cal
Snacks; red velvet cupcake ~ 285cal

Exercise; in recovery from jog 
Steps; 8,709

Liquid Intake;
~ 1500ml of water

Notes;
~ The cupcakes were being made in advance i had a box of four and only ate the 1 that day and gave 2 away, one to my significant other and one to his little brother.
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Date; 06/06/2015

Goal; loose 2lbs a week
Calorie intake; 1,200 per day

Breakfast; Nothing~
Lunch; Tuna baguette
             Apple Snack Pack
Dinner; (i didn't write this down and i cant remember correctly)
Snacks; Red velvet cupcake
             Chocolate orange Yogurt

Exercise; still in recovery from jogging
Steps; 9,143

Liquid Intake;
~ 1000ml of water
~ Cup of tea
~ Bottle of orange juice

Notes;
~ Nothing really to report
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Date; 07/06/2015

We're not going to speak of this day! I went to a fun fair with a friend and al healthy notions went straight out the window...

:( 

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No More Crap for the Bunny~

Hey Everybunny!

(Trying a new things out, anything between the long black lines are to do with the title and any extra is updates and random extras i wanted to share)

It's been crazy long since my last blog post ive had so many ideas for blogs and things to blog about but i hate doing it on my phone and im not on my pc/laptop that much for a while (family matters, work and a little game called the witcher!)

But lets get down to the point of this post and not my excuses...

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A while ago i went into healthier eating, kept a food diary, controlled my calories and exercised more (i've noticed podge starting to crawl on so i wanted to cut it in its tracks, and im extremely unhealthy when needing to run for a bus...) and it was going great! Unfortunately i stopped, it wasnt for anything i basically had a blackout and smashed my face off the floor from a combination of not getting what i needed from what i was eating and stress. Since then i have been scared to try again and have binge ate and being a little bit lazier than normal... But due to this i am now the heaviest weight ive ever been in my life and i'll be honest im freaked out a little bit.

I know i'm not fat, and i would appreciate if no one brought this up, however i am seeing unhealthy fat storage around my belly and thighs (and a little on my ass tbh) and no more. I put some shorts on this morning and when i looked at myself in the mirror i could see some extra fat poking over the top of my shorts and underneath them on my thighs. I nearly cried from it. I then looked at a few pictures of friends and people i admire who are all in good shape and healthy and look amazing and i thought to myself, i deserve that, i deserve to be happy with who i am and be healthy and fit in doing so. Now don't get me wrong im not after no thigh gap! But removing the saggy skin and returning to a normal weight (i'm actually approaching the amber of my recommended bmi which is quiet scary...) and being healthier in the process sounds great!

So i'm going to start blogging almost daily now about, it'll be my online fitness journal and i'd really appreciate any tips/suggestions/constructive crisism and if you guys followed me on this journey :3 so lets start with today then shall we?!

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Date; 04/06/2015
Weight; 128.2lb / 58kg / 9.1st
Stomach Size; 32 inches
Thigh Size; 21 inches

Goal; loose 2lbs a week
Calorie intake; 1,200 per day

Breakfast; Handful of grapes ~ 70cal
Lunch; Tuna salad roll from gregs ~ 385cal
Dinner; Small bowl of spaghetti bolognese ~520cal (Estimate)
Snacks; Special K strawberry biscuit bar ~ 96cal
             Green Apple ~ 80cal

Exercise; 5 minutes of jogging, 2 minutes of running
Steps; 8,500

Liquid Intake;
~ 1500ml of water
~ 1 cup of green tea with a spoonful of honey

Notes;
~ This morning i absentmindedly picked up a roll of fruit pastels then put them back down untouched.
Today i went into town on my way to pick up some items left a friends house, i walked past a mcdonalds, left all the cakes in gregs, and when i got into the line for an eds shake i realized what i was doing then walked straight out of the building.
~ Gave a bottle of coke back to my friend and told her she could keep it.
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The reason i have included a 'notes' section is so i can look back on all the GOOD related things i did/didnt do in regards to being healthier :3 or anything else i may need to remember for that day :)

I think that's it so far but hopefully having a simple layout like this will help alot! I'm also going to write out a food diary now (got a new notebook all ready) and make a schedule on my notice board in my room and write down the styles of exercies and when, i only need to do 3 days of exercise atm around half hour to an hour per session (Unless its running/jogging im buildin myself up from 10 mins to longer but thats harder than normal exercise to me) so i'll share the actual routine with you guys when i do do a routine :3

I'll also be trying out new items to do with workouts and recipes etc so look forward to blogs on those n.n

Below are my 'before' photos to look back on not something ill share every day haha :)

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Hope you guys will enjoy these 'fitness' blogs see you tomorrow :3 

Em

XxX