Diet Crash~

Hey Everybunny!

Right im gonna be brutally honest right now, i have like no selfcontrol by the looks of it... I basically had no money today as the banks werent letting me know of extra things coming out, so i had no money to get any food and ended up ordering food on paypal which was a pretty stupid idea to be brutally honest... I thought it was a buy now pay later thing on paypal but turns out it wasnt.. So there's a chance that that money will come out before the end of the week (I get money on monday) which im pooping myself about as i only have £10 and the food was £18... Really shouldnt have ordered what i did and it was super super unhealthy too so my healthy eating has crashed too...

Was just looking at some photos of me from about a year ago and holy fuck my face has added so much extra weight tis disguisting. People have told me that my face looks healthier chubbier and i wanna smash their faces in the patronizing arseholes... I wasnt unhealthily thin and i never have been and it's kinda upset me into wanting to eat more bad food over motivating me to relose it... Because this weight isn't easy to lose and i have to be super super strict and i havent got much  strength when it comes to bad food...

I legit have pictures of who i look up to, 'goals' as the kids call it, of what i wish i looked like. I dont care about thigh gaps, or rubs showing, or collarbones or any of that bullcrap which IS unhealthy.. I just want my cheekbones and a flatter stomach back :/ 

Urgh i dunno i need some help i think i dunno what to do does anyone have any tips about being strong in the face of saying no to bad food? My body never feels happy after eating all the grease either makes me wanna be sick afterwards :/

*slap wrist* 

So angry with myself...

Em

XxX

*Edit* 10 minutes later i can smell the pizza from the other side of the room and its making me want to be sick...